It's ten years since I wrote Thirty Great Crapolae of Our Time, which is included in my Kindle book, Total Passion for the Total Height. I figured it was time for an update. Herewith, in no particular order or logical sequence:
Thirty Great Crapolae of Our Time. April 6, 2015
1) That wisdom any longer resides in Academia; that tertiary qualifications in the Humanities any longer denote intellectual distinction; that intellectuals any longer have intellects.
2) That modern "intellectuals" are not Lenin's "useful idiots," driven by vanity and besotted by flattery.
3) That an MBA graduate has a clue; that an MBA (Master of Bollocks and Asininity) degree has something to do with entrepreneurialism.
4) That pedantic, nit-picking pomowankers who ejaculate to arcane inanities about the meaning of the word "meaning" are authentic philosophers.
5) That wisdom's face cannot be joyous, or angry, or anything other than impassive; that reason and emotion must necessarily be at war.
6) That the world owes dregs $80,000 a year per dreg (see Occupy Wall St.).
7) That politicians and businessmen climbing into bed with each other for a taxpayer-funded orgy = the free market at work (see Wall St.).
8 ) That to give someone a job is to "exploit" him.
9) That the Three Wise Men were Gramsci, Alinsky and Chomsky.
10) That umbrage is man's proper estate (in this veritable Age of Umbrage); that hurt feelings ("I'm so offended!") are an argument's greatest legitimiser (the Argument from Umbrage) and a mandate to ban opposing arguments.
11) That one should never say what one means or mean what one says; one's meaning must always be obscure, non-existent ... or the opposite of what one really believes.
12) That if one should, through inexcusable carelessness, say something one means, one must immediately call a press conference and apologise profusely while weeping copiously.
13) That any old perception is reality, just because it's a perception; that hallucinations and delusions are valid because they are perceptions; that wishful thinking is as valid as any other kind.
14) That Islam is a religion of peace.
15) That "rap" is music; that any kind of contemporary headbanging caterwauling, along with the sounds of jackhammers, chainsaws and traffic, is of musical interest.
16) That the purpose of restaurants is to make conversation impossible by means of headbanging caterwauling ... and lighting so dim one can't then read one's companions' lips. "Too loud to hear and too dark to lip-read."
17) That contemporary art is art; that braying port-a-loos have artistic significance other than in the empty heads of pomowankers.
18) That Generation Airhead (aka"millennials") has a measurable IQ.
19) That infantilism—characterised by gratuitous temper tantrums, demands for immediate gratification of one's every whim, and the need for a constant bombardment of screaming stimuli—is one's legitimate default position in dealing with the world; that child-rearing is, properly, capitulation to infantilism, whereby children raise parents.
20) That Faecesbook and Twit-Witter are repositories of meaningful human interaction, or of humans.
21) That self-esteem is synonymous with Narcissism; that one's own demise would presage that of the universe, since the universe could not possibly go on without one.
22) That the role of politicians is to dictate what we eat, think, drink, smoke, say and wear ... while stealing from us to pay dregs who vote for them to breed more voters for them.
23) That freedom is synonymous with democracy.
24) That the victim is really the criminal and the criminal the victim.
25) That liberals are liberal.
26) That grammar, syntax, punctuation and spelling serve no cognitive purpose and may be jettisoned with impunity.
27) That quacking, droning, and spestuck-spayke generally, constitute speech; that being able actually to speak, and speak well, disqualifies one from employment on radio and television and in the classroom.
28) That there is any longer such a thing as journalism.
29) That no culture is better than any other.
30) That there is no "better."